25th May 2014

Soup for Sluts

I probably should of wrote this blog a few weeks ago as I have been neglecting it, but recently some people have been telling me they read it and I should carry on with it, so here goes...

At the time of me writing this, it has been 101 days since I fractured my femoral neck, I can't believe I missed the 100 day mark, but hey 101 is a good number.

I can finally see the end of this entire ordeal and it will hopefully be coinciding with me moving into a new place in Manchester, not that I haven't loved every minute of living where I am now and I have had the best, most understanding/caring landlords/adoptive grandparents anyone could of asked for (shout out to Barbara and Frank here), but I feel like moving somewhere new will revitalise me so I can move on from this horrible part of my life -  a fresh start.

Before I feel that I can move on from this I would like to address a few things that I have experienced whilst I have been 'out of action' so to speak. These are feeling of hopelessness that I had at about the month and a half mark of my recovery. I'm not really the kind of person who likes to talk about their emotions openly, I'd much rather just ignore them and put on my best face, but I have during these last 3 months experienced what being sad really feels like and truth be told I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

I felt so isolated, It was a massive shock to my system, one day I was having a great time, living with great people, had a great job, uni was going (relatively) well and I was probably in the best/happiest position I had been in for quite a few years. Then one day it was all taken away from me, it may sound selfish but it was a massive shock to my system, going from being busy pretty much every day of the week to not being able to do anything for what seemed like endless days. I have been working part time for the past 6 years, so having such a massive amount of free time was horrible and needless to say I began to think about things, I don't really want to go into the specifics of it but I started to get really down, and I would just lie in bed all day and tension between me and my family, I was seeing my consultant regularly but it seems like every time I was getting worse news, and I was just getting really down.

But there was a point, on Tuesday 13th May, (exactly 3 months after I broke my hip) that I had an appointment with a new consultant, one that was a specialist in hip surgery, when he gave me some good news that I began to start to feel better about my situation, his diagnosis wasn't what I had been expecting to hear, it was much better! And just hearing him tell me the bone is healing well and I can begin weight bearing raised my sprits and it was shortly after this that I began to test using public transport on my own, which I was a bit shaky with at first, but now I feel a lot more confident, but this meant that I could begin to visit my friends, and start to build my life back together, and I'm not saying theres not times when I still get really sad, such as when all of my friends handed in their final uni projects, but in order for me to keep going and recovery fully I need to ignore these feeling of sadness and focus on what is important, which is that although this has so far been without a doubt the worst year of my life, it has given me more optimism, hope and ambition to succeed in what I'm doing, and I would like at some point when I have made a full recovery to begin raising money for The National Osteoporosis Society, but that will come in due course.

I would at this junction like to thank all of my friends and family who have helped look after me/kept me company in hospital/visited me/texted/messaged me I definitely don't know where I'd be without you's all. There's probably a million more people I should thank but I don't want to Halle Berry circa 2002 this.

Tom.

Sorry if I have been too melodramatic, I just felt I needed to get these things out in the open before I can start to move on from what has happened.

P.s. I've really been neglecting my photographic practice for the last few weeks, so thats why I've not written anything photographically based. Here is a picture of my rabbit.

Not Kenneth Parcell.